Man, I really have to get better at writing these.

Although to be perfectly honest, I don’t know who I’m writing these for. It’s not like I publicly advertise that I have a website, never mind that there’s a blog on it. No one’s messaged me saying “I love reading your blog, you should write more”, so it’s entirely possible I’m just writing them for me. And if that’s the case, I need to send myself more “I love reading your blog, you should write more” messages.

In the time since I last put “pen” to “paper”, I have effectively retired from the radio and news reporting industries. Despite my best efforts at finding gainful employment, the only messages I received back were “No thanks”. For some reason, any station I reached out to didn’t think I was the best person for the job. My theories on why ranged from the reasonable (They had more qualified applicants) to the downright insane (Someone at my old job is keeping me from finding work). Inevitably, I resigned myself to the fact that my time in media was done.

And then I got a Facebook message.

That message turned into a meeting, and a few days later, that meeting turned into a job offer. Full time reporter and weekend editor of a web based news company. Great salary, working from home, potential use of a company car, and I didn’t have to leave Kamloops. Everything was perfect and I was happy to say yes.

And then I said no.

Fair warning that the reason for why I said no may seem crazy, but believe me that this was not a rushed decision in any way. In the days after I got my phone call, my thoughts about the job went from extremely positive to… I wouldn’t say negative, but certainly concerning. As many people in my life are aware (and if said people end up reading this one day, here’s your shout out), I have been involved in the cadet program for over half my life. I have had the chance to see and do so many amazing things over the past 13.5 years that I wouldn’t have been able to see and do otherwise. This year alone, I’ve spent three weeks in Ottawa revising and drafting processes and Terms of Reference to use at all 22 of our Cadet Training Centres. Last year, I got to have input on policy changes that would affect every corps and squadron. This was the most beneficial work I’ve been able to do in the program; affecting real change for the betterment of the program and the cadets in it. I have gotten to meet so many incredible people, including some year one OGs that I still keep in contact with to this day. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I would not be even half the person I am today if it wasn’t for the cadet program. To be honest, I don’t think I’d even be here at all without it. And for that reason, I’ve had the mentality that as long as I can keep giving back to this program, I would.

All of that said, one of the caveats of taking this job would’ve been that I would have to scale back my level of involvement with the cadet program. That would mean no more policy drafting opportunities. I wouldn’t be accepting any more CTC contracts. Say goodbye to teaching for RCSU. Even at the corps level, I wouldn’t be able to fully commit at the level I would need to. And I really had thought (and the words did indeed come out of my mouth) that I was ready to move on, that I had put in more than enough time, that I was going to take a well deserved break from this program. But when the time came, I found out I wasn’t as ready to leave as I thought I was.

Upon further thought, I also remembered how my last couple months at the radio station were. I was constantly stressed, I was struggling to keep up with the expected workload, I was losing sleep. It was at the point where I would wake up and immediately start freaking out, thinking I had overslept and was late for work, only to find out it was 10 pm and my weekend shift didn’t start for another six hours. And with those memories resurfacing, I found myself thinking that this new job could end up being more of the same. And after the inevitable pros and cons list that I made for myself, all of the above made for a pretty convincing argument to hang up my mic and headset for good.

Now here we are, about a month and a half later. I’m set to return to Quadra this summer (woot woot Boatswain Mate!) and as an added bonus, I’m also going to Bermuda for this year’s international exchange! That opportunity on its own makes me think I made the right decision, but really only time will tell.

Alright, I guess that does it for another blog post. See you in 2020, probably.